"And the show must go on"

With the recent information I've received about John - that his remains will not be found - my mission to bring more attention to the Island has become more urgent for me than ever.  He is there on the Island, he will never come home, and he deserves to have peace in his final resting place.  Everyone does! I was talking with a friend last night and we both just repeat the same words -  that it boggles the mind that nearly
1 Million bodies have been buried on the Island so nearly 1 Million souls are wandering - give or take a few thousand - and the fact that nothing has ever been done to make this sacred place more respectful is beyond comprehension, really!  I'm no one special, I am not famous, I haven't any money, and who the hell do I think I am?  Like so many, I haven't always known who I was but...............I'm learning. You know, it's very expensive to have a decent burial in this day and age - funeral ceremony, permit, burial plot, casket, headstone, to name the basics.  The cost?  Anywhere from $5000-$7000.  Do you have that kind of money just lying around in the event a loved one passes - I don't.  My point is this:  City Cemeteries are very important and necessary - you may be buried in one some day - and the fact we're talking about a City Cemetery -  in this case, Potter's Field, Hart Island - does not negate the fact these final resting "homes" should be, and must be, a place where peace may be found not only for those laid to rest, but for the families and friends of those who, hopefully, have gone on to another, if not better, land.  So why hasn't anything been done for Hart Island?  I've no idea how other cities handle their City Cemeteries, or in what condition they are in; trust me, if I had money, I'd travel and check 'em out.  My primary focus, however, is Hart Island, where my brother is;  where thousands of sons, daughters, fathers, mothers..............and brothers have been laid.  I plan on visiting the Island in the next couple of months, not only to see for myself but more importantly, to let John know I have not forgotten him, nor will I...............ever.  The journey will continue.

For whom I will travel on.............. My Brother, John

This is not the end...........

Well, I've received confirmation from the DOC (Department of Corrections) - and not the positive kind I had hoped for -   that John's remains, in fact, will never be found (due to lost records). First, "yes, we've confirmed, identified... (remains)" and exhumation would commence once the ground thawed.  Now, "oops, we made a mistake; can't find remains, never will".  Can't even be sad about this, not really, because if I get in a sad mode, I'll be frozen just like that ground I'd been waiting for to thaw.  I must stay angry; anger is a great motivator.  But, you know, this Blog  is NOT really about the DOC and I shall not go into any specifics, at least not now and not in this posting. We all know what my purpose is, where I'm headed and what I'd like to accomplish.  Believe me, I'm not big-headed enough to think I, alone, will make a difference but, then again, never underestimate the power of one.  As I so softly (not!) told a DOC representative today, and I quote, "if John's remains cannot be found, I will be goddamned if he stays in that 'sh--t hole' for all eternity".  You know, crazy as this may sound, it may have been my brother's plan all along - to look at (and fight for) the big picture; that this was never just about him but about the thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and............. This just may be the path that John chose for me to travel on, with all its bumps, pot holes and blurred white lines and................ a lot of heartache.

Frustration and Sadness..............

abounds.  If anyone has been following this blog, they'd know what my connection to Hart Island is - my brother's been buried there since 1972.  Since 2009 I've been on a mission to have John exhumed so I may give him a proper burial in a Veteran's Cemetery in So. California.  Things were going great, NYC officials have been helping me, and I actually got confirmation from the DOC (Dept.of Corrections which has jurisdiction over Hart Island),  albeit from a third party, that my brother's remains were confirmed and identified.  Well, now, not so and I'm hoppin' angry - gotta stay angry otherwise I'd fall apart!  The irresponsibility of telling me John's remains were found, gotta wait til the ground thaws to exhume him, blah, blah,blah, and now, they're saying "oops, we made a mistake".  Oh my god, are they kidding, is this a joke?  Sadly, it's all true. Now I'm getting first-hand knowledge of how the DOC operates - apparently not well - and I'm here to tell you.....................if John's remains cannot be found, I will be damned if I allow him to continue to remain in a place overseen by folks who obviously have no respect for the dead. And why is the DOC overseer of Potter's Field anyway?  And why isn't the DOC suggesting that Potter's Field be preserved and restored as the final resting place that it is for thousands? Have they ever devised a "plan" to do something, or even made the attempt?  All rhetorical questions but answers that need to come for me and many other families whose loved ones are buried there, never to be found or identified. If it's the last breath I take, I will continue on the mission to bring the plight of Hart Island to the attention of someone, anyone, who can and will help.  The ball MUST start rolling for restoration and preservation and the personal connection I have, the sorrow I feel over the fact John might have to stay there for eternity, is the impetus for me to march on.  Call me crazy - I'd be in good company - but I don't care.  Taking a stand and having a passion for what we do in life are key.  John's had nothing but bad breaks throughout his brief life and I'm not going to allow his spirit to wander through the skies, restless and without peace. One way or another, he WILL be honored and respected in death if it's the last thing I do!

Is it possible................

.............that New Yorkers really know nothing about Hart Island?  Is that possible?  How's that possible?  How is it that folks might not know about this grand, tragic and historic place?  It's beyond me but I suppose it's possible. Well, if there's anyone who might be able to shed some light, not only for the people who live in New York, but for those in other parts who may happen upon this blog,  it's me.  You will learn as I learn and that's what it's all about - living, learning, doing and accomplishing.  Gosh, that would be so wonderful if my little blog could be noticed by more than one person and actually reach some folks who just might agree with me.............or offer up a few Million to start the ball rolling.  Hey, you gotta dream big! Bye for now.

Hart Island............and The Kingston Lounge........

There is a blog I'd like you to check out - the photographs depict precisely what I'm writing about..... that Hart Island is, can & will be a place of beauty, despite the sadness associated with it.  Check out http://kingstonlounge.blogspot.com/      Who would have thought Hart Island has, in fact, so much beauty with the historical buildings and the stories behind them.  My brother, and the photos of Kingston Lounge, inspired me and, so, here I am.

My brother, John, and how the journey began..........

I thought I'd share a little about how my brother came to be buried on Hart Island.  It will be 38 years January 19, 2010, that John's been gone........in body; his spirit has been with me all along, I just didn't know it til now.  It's hard to believe it, really.  He was barely 24 when he died and he'd be 63 years old this year.  The circumstances of his death, which I'm just now discovering, and his burial in Potter's Field, are really quite amazing.  Although John died on January 19th, our family did not find out til mid February 1972, and really quite by accident.  John was an in-patient at the Manhattan Psychiatric Unit since July 1971, diagnosed with schizophrenia while serving in the U.S. Air Force, and I had been in telephone contact with him since late 1971.  The last time I spoke with him  while at the hospital, he sounded good and was looking forward to coming home (to Los Angeles, Ca.).  Months had passed, it was now February 1972, and I realized I had not heard from him for a while.  So, I  called him at the Hospital.  At first, they didn't know who I was talking about when I asked to speak with him, and then after another try, I was told, straight out with no hesitation, and without knowing who I was, "I'm sorry, John Turner is deceased."   This is the god's honest truth..... this is how our family found out John was gone.  It was at this time we also found out John had already been buried...........on February 1, 1972 in Potter's Field.  Efforts were made by our mother to have him exhumed and re-buried in a Veteran's Cemetery in So. California, a fact I didn't find out until March 2009 when I discovered John's military file and other documents - another amazing story by itself.  Flash forward to January 2009 when certain events happened which started me on the journey I'm now on - to have John given the military burial he so richly deserved and still deserves........ nearly 38 years later.  I was initially told by the Dept. of Corrections, the overseer of Hart Island, exhumation after 10 years would not be possible, and I believed what I was told.  And, so, believing I would be unable to secure John remains, I embarked on a journey with the Veterans' Administration to get authorization to bury some of his very personal items - Bible, military cap, smoking pipes and tobacco, and other items (yes, I've kept all his things) instead.  I've even claimed that these personal items are technically  now his "remains"as they contain his fingerprints, his scent, his spirit, his DNA.  I've been fighting with the VA in D.C., and other politicians, both locally and in D.C., ever since.  But, then, when I was unable to get information on the circumstances and cause of John's death, I wrote directly to the doctor who performed my brother's autopsy in 1972.  This doctor came to be the world-renowned forensic pathologist Dr. Michael Baden . To my shock and surprise, Dr. Baden  personally telephoned me and we've been communicating since November 2009.  Not only did he help me get my brother's autopsy report (which we never got), and I would finally know the surrounding facts and cause of death, but he offered his assistance by seeing "what we can do to get your brother exhumed".  And, so with that one letter, some doors have opened and the possibility of finding John's remains has become quite real.  I followed by writing to a Staten Island Councilman who, although he didn't have to, offered his assistance. Several other elected officials are now all helping to get John home.  If this weren't happening to me, I wouldn't believe it.  And, so, in a nutshell, this is how the journey I'm still on for my brother, John, has lead me to this...........Hart Island and it's preservation.  And, to Dr. Baden, if you ever read this, please know I will always and forever be grateful for your kindness and assistance. As a final note:  there are some who would like me to believe there is "absolutely no way" John's remains will ever be found. All I can say to them is........
"O ye of little faith."  Luke 12:27-28; Matthew 8:25-26.