I'm ba-a-a-a-a--ack............

Okay, if you re-read my January 16, 2010 posting, you will know money is a big topic (and necessity) for getting what I have planned off the ground.  John must have been giving me some spiritual kicking in my sleep or something because, although I had this idea in late 2009 but never did anything with it, today I did something! No real thought, no hesitation, and as I wrote to a friend, it just all flowed so I know it's right.  Even  I can't believe some of the things I do but not going to question - just do!  Hopefully, I will reach my intended target.  This is all I will say for now  :)

No news is good news...................

and that's precisely what I've got, no news.  I'm losing my belief in what I actually wrote a while back, that "one person can make a difference". Now, I'm thinking not so much.  That "one person" still needs other persons to contribute to the "cause", support and have a like passion for that cause.  I don't feel I've got that support and my passion just seems to be coming off as being a "pain in the ass".  I don't know what else to say other than I'm beginning to ask myself  "what's the point, who really cares"?

Quote for the day...........

How far you go in life depends on
your being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged,
sympathetic of the weak and strong.
Because some day in life
you will have been all of these.

George Washington Carver

Origins of "Potter's Field"..............

is commonly said to come from the Gospel of St. Matthew (27:3-8).  After Judas (Iscariot) gave up Jesus to the Romans for 30 pieces of silver, remorse and regret consumed him and he wanted to repent & return the money to the high priests. When the high priests refused the return of "the price of blood", as they claimed, Judas threw the money to the ground and ultimately hanged himself.  And, because the high priests could not accept the return of the [blood] money, "....and they took counsel and bought with them the potters field to bury strangers in......"

Footnote

How appropriate for me (and you) to learn ............on this Easter Sunday as I'm watching 1961's "King of Kings" and.....................the earth just shook (earthquake in sunny California).

One Monument for all..................

stands 30-foot tall on the Island.  Erected in 1948, inmates appealed to the Warden and, along with custodial staff, built the memorial monument for the "unbefriended dead".  And, so it would seem convicted & incarcerated men had more respect for the dead than those men who were free. The monument is located in the center of the burial ground, on one side engraved a cross and, on the other, the word "Peace".   My personal thanks to all the inmates and staff members who fought for this very simple yet respectful "headstone" for all. And this is it!  As far as I've learned, this monument is the one & only tribute given to all those buried on the Island and the one & only symbol that this Island ultimately belongs to the dead.  Amazing and ........shameful!

Fractured Fairy Tale.............

In death, as in life, my family's scattered to the winds.  My dad's there, my mom's over there and John's somewhere out there - I'm still here. There are many angels helping me at this point, one in particular, and they're still holding out for a miracle that John will be found on the Island.  Me, not so much.  Even as a child, I did not believe in miracles, fairy tales or the Easter Bunny.  There was no "Snow White" or "Sleeping Beauty" - reality was my companion. Not trying to evoke any sympathy, these were/are the facts.  It's a little hard at this stage of the game to start believing but, then again, we must.   So back to reality and...............the Island. John's somewhere out there, this I know.  Let's not see the Island as a dumping ground for human garbage because the thought the Island Souls are looked upon in that way is too much for me to bear - my brother is not, was not, "human garbage".  The fact remains, however, the Island is a dumping ground of sorts because decade after decade after decade nothing's been done to transform it otherwise.  Where are the fountains from which water may flow?  Where are the flowers from which a smile may grow?  Where are the trees from which shade may be given? Where are the (memorial) benches on which family and friends may sit and grieve?  And, where is the chapel in which we must pray? Other than the prisoners who perform the burials, is there a "Man of God" sending these souls off with some kind & spiritual words?  Why must the Island be so mysterious, elusive and hidden?  What are they hiding?  Just thought I'd ask.

Some days suck! ........

........and this is one of them.  Today, I'm asking myself what others might ask as well - what the hell am I doing and who really cares about any of this?  I'm just one little person in a crowd of millions so what do I really think I'm going to accomplish here?  I'm feeling rather down today - can you tell? - and I'm even depressing myself. I need to re-group, get focused and not worry about anything related.  Progress has been made, progress is being made, in the way it is supposed to.  Patience is not one of my better virtues - hah!
It's my worse.