What next?

What do I do next?  How do I keep myself involved?  How can I be involved living here with my passion over there? Who can I celebrate this little victory with?  John.......but not quite the same. Hoopin' & hollorin' all by myself,  freakin' out the cats cause they don't know what's going on, somehow just doesn't quite cut it.  I don't know how to recognize myself, to give me some credit for this little bit of progress.   I'm not emotionally evolved enough so that I can truly appreciate my efforts.  No celebratory parade yet people keep rainin' on it.  Looking in the mirror does not help for all I see is a little girl in front of me, still afraid of the dark.